And Away We Go
My name is Mari. I'm a thirty-something only-child native Michigander currently transplanted in northern Virginia.
My husband (Aaron) of 10+ years and I have two sweet and spirited daughters, Sadabella Jane (also known as Sadie J, newly 4 yrs old) and Liza Lou (2 yrs).
I've had this blog name (and purpose) floating around in my head for a year or so, and after casually mentioning it to a friend and hearing, "Just go for it," I've decided to give it a try. I'll share my switch from highly independent, more-than-full-time-working female into full-time mommy and part-time employee.
I married young (just before I turned 21) and wasn't sure mothering was a path I desired. I had enjoyed children throughout my life and had experience working with all ages of development. Yet my own family had several significant elements of dysfunction that led me to believe, "There's no way I'm passing on ANY of this flawed history and genetics to another human being. We'd all be doomed."
When discussing the idea of raising a family during our engagement, Aaron had always said, "I just want to be with you and it doesn't matter to me either way. I would be happy if it's always the two of us, but I would also love to have children with you. So you tell me how you're feeling as we go." (But I never fully believed him. I mean how can you be ambivalent about having kids?!)
We went on through our twenties with nary a thought of procreation. We were each focusing on our academics and professional fields (he's an engineer, I was in criminal justice) and learning about ourselves. Things were rolling along.
Until the summer I turned 29.
We were on a beach vacation, and one evening at dinner I noticed the table next to us: a young-ish couple with two kids.
And an uninvited thought flitted through my mind: "I'd like to do that: A family vacation, where we show our kids new places and new perspectives. That would be amazing."
Wait a minute- Where's this coming from?
We went home from the trip and I couldn't shake it.....I felt the desire to be a mom. It felt strange. Appealing, but unknown. It seems the Mommy Bug had bitten.
The next year and a half was spent trying to conceive. Turns out somewhere during that decade of birth control in my twenties I had developed PCOS. Yet by the time I turned 31 we had a beautiful pink newborn. She had arrived in the week before my birthday. And 19 months after her arrival we welcomed her sister.
I'm not naturally a nurturing person. My main inner mantra has been "Suck it up, cupcake". Great natural quality for a parent, right?
But, I figured, at least I was aware of my short coming. Perhaps I could slowly transform myself into the caring yet strengthening mother I hoped to be. I can't be the first woman to feel a desire to become something seemingly outside out of my current nature.
So that's why I'm here. I'm getting into my mom genes. Putting on something that initially feels new and awkward and refining it into my own fit. Delving into the avenues of care and guidance necessary to raise little humans into emotionally stable, uncommonly brave and genuinely kind big humans.
In these posts I plan to share my wonderings, my small victories and mess-ups in parenting, and how I attempt to keep a hold of myself while juggling current roles. My hope in sharing this bumpy venture into parenthood is that I can encourage someone who may be at the same stage. And also to hear your experience and expand my arsenal of applied parenting knowledge.
One other thing to note: All of the names here have been changed to guard both the knowing participants and those unwitting. Also, since I'm new at this, adjusting the names will enable me to bring more authenticity and express some delicate history more fully.
Thanks for checking this out :) And I know we can find our way through this mom-formation journey together.
Let's do it together,
Mari
My husband (Aaron) of 10+ years and I have two sweet and spirited daughters, Sadabella Jane (also known as Sadie J, newly 4 yrs old) and Liza Lou (2 yrs).
I've had this blog name (and purpose) floating around in my head for a year or so, and after casually mentioning it to a friend and hearing, "Just go for it," I've decided to give it a try. I'll share my switch from highly independent, more-than-full-time-working female into full-time mommy and part-time employee.
I married young (just before I turned 21) and wasn't sure mothering was a path I desired. I had enjoyed children throughout my life and had experience working with all ages of development. Yet my own family had several significant elements of dysfunction that led me to believe, "There's no way I'm passing on ANY of this flawed history and genetics to another human being. We'd all be doomed."
When discussing the idea of raising a family during our engagement, Aaron had always said, "I just want to be with you and it doesn't matter to me either way. I would be happy if it's always the two of us, but I would also love to have children with you. So you tell me how you're feeling as we go." (But I never fully believed him. I mean how can you be ambivalent about having kids?!)
We went on through our twenties with nary a thought of procreation. We were each focusing on our academics and professional fields (he's an engineer, I was in criminal justice) and learning about ourselves. Things were rolling along.
Until the summer I turned 29.
We were on a beach vacation, and one evening at dinner I noticed the table next to us: a young-ish couple with two kids.
And an uninvited thought flitted through my mind: "I'd like to do that: A family vacation, where we show our kids new places and new perspectives. That would be amazing."
Wait a minute- Where's this coming from?
We went home from the trip and I couldn't shake it.....I felt the desire to be a mom. It felt strange. Appealing, but unknown. It seems the Mommy Bug had bitten.
The next year and a half was spent trying to conceive. Turns out somewhere during that decade of birth control in my twenties I had developed PCOS. Yet by the time I turned 31 we had a beautiful pink newborn. She had arrived in the week before my birthday. And 19 months after her arrival we welcomed her sister.
I'm not naturally a nurturing person. My main inner mantra has been "Suck it up, cupcake". Great natural quality for a parent, right?
But, I figured, at least I was aware of my short coming. Perhaps I could slowly transform myself into the caring yet strengthening mother I hoped to be. I can't be the first woman to feel a desire to become something seemingly outside out of my current nature.
So that's why I'm here. I'm getting into my mom genes. Putting on something that initially feels new and awkward and refining it into my own fit. Delving into the avenues of care and guidance necessary to raise little humans into emotionally stable, uncommonly brave and genuinely kind big humans.
In these posts I plan to share my wonderings, my small victories and mess-ups in parenting, and how I attempt to keep a hold of myself while juggling current roles. My hope in sharing this bumpy venture into parenthood is that I can encourage someone who may be at the same stage. And also to hear your experience and expand my arsenal of applied parenting knowledge.
One other thing to note: All of the names here have been changed to guard both the knowing participants and those unwitting. Also, since I'm new at this, adjusting the names will enable me to bring more authenticity and express some delicate history more fully.
Thanks for checking this out :) And I know we can find our way through this mom-formation journey together.
Let's do it together,
Mari
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| Liza Lou & Sadie J |
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