I'm (not) Sorry

I hate an insincere apology. 
Few things feel more demeaning to me than an obligatory, "I'm (not really) sorry."

Thus, when Sadie (my first born) started toddling around and socializing, I had to figure out how to handle apologies.  I didn't want her to just parrot, "I'm sorry" after a (real or perceived) screw up and think it automatically made everything okay.

So we came up with, "I should/shouldn't have."
I don't make her actually say, "I'm sorry" but she WILL state what was inappropriate:

"I shouldn't have pushed you."
"I shouldn't have snatched that from you."
"I shouldn't have gone outside after you told me not to."

"I should have listened to you, mommy."
"I should have gotten in my car seat like you asked."
"I should have asked with manners instead of whining/rudeness."

Then, if she feels inclined, she can say, "I'm sorry" in there somewhere.

For us, this works really well.  And I try to model it myself:
"I shouldn't have yelled like that. I was frustrated that you weren't listening."
"I should have taken a minute to stop myself before reacting."

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I usually don't hear an apology right away, but Sadie (newly 4) will often come back later with, "I'm sorry I didn't listen to you, mommy" or "I wasn't trying to hurt you, Liza, I didn't see you there."

And those true apologies mean the world to me.